Bad things happen to good people they say...and for once they are not wrong...What did he do wrong?? Or is it because he was just too perfect...You ought to know some people to know what life is...and how it is to be lived...for others and yet for yourself...
I found him when I was vulnerable...trying to find priorities...trying to hold on to everything I knew...and letting go of those that I didn’t...I would not speak to him initially...because of reasons I realised later...and maybe a bit too late...But he would come and sit next to me while I had beer, all by myself...He would say nothing...but smile...give me a pat on the back, and walk away...I envied him for the guy that he was...careless and free...likeable to all...and yet so humble...so unassuming that it took me 2 weeks to come to know how rich he was...He could do anything that I could...and was better...I never saw him depressed...or dejected with life...never saw him cribbing...about life or about people...The world seemed perfect when around him...He transcended time... and hence eternity...
It was when I talked to him for the first time, that I got to know a guy who was to stay back with me forever...He was someone who I idolised for what he was...from whom I learnt to be worthy of success...worthy of being what I wanted to be...It was because of him that I realised the value of ambitions...and desires...the fallacy of expectations...and of conditions...He would tell me not to let go of people I loved...ever...he would tell me never to let my ego come in way of friendship...and I would tell him I had none...He would laugh and tell me its universal...just that some people call it self -respect...He would tell me to be wary of jealousy...and its then that I realised how much time I had wasted not knowing him...He inspired me to let go of a part of me I had held on for a bit too long...He made me careless...and free...he taught me to live for the day...and not for the future...He inspired me to lao others and yet not demand of them to lao me back...He taught me what unconditioned reality implies...and inspired me to be what he was...If there was anything perfect in this world, he was someone who would come as close to it as is possible...
This is for you Rohit, to let you know that you are missed...and always will be...I remember the promise you made me make to you...and it will always be upheld...I still can’t forgive myself for having not known you before...for having wasted such precious time, whose value I realise now...for having never realised how important you were to me...Let this be an ode to a person who made a large part of me as it is today...an ode to someone who is an inspiration to me in whatever I take up in life...who will always remind me of life being ephemeral... time being the most valuable possession.. and friendship being the worthiest ambition
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
u r remembered wen needed...
They say ignorance is bliss...i say its the other way round...its bliss dat makes u ignorant...of people n all dat goes wid it...v liv all our life in pursuit...of wat v believe is happiness...forgoing everything which seems to come in the way...wat v forget tho, is dat v r nt oways rite...but dats whr the irony is..coz v oways “believe” dat v r...believe eh!!! Believe u may...on urself...believe u may...on ur individualism...but never ever believe in the dependence of it...on anyone except u...ur decision is urs...n all that comes wid it...gud or bad..
The flaw wid one being dependent is.. it makes u liv fr others...ppl u believe u love...yeah love!!! Its then that u can do anything fr them...nething dat u can...or u cannot...u do dat without any expectations...without any conditions...n u don’t impose any either, on the very ppl...but its wen u realise dat all dat u hve done fr them doesn’t count...not to them...or to u...its wen u realise u hve done all in ur power to c them wat they r..happy..dat u feel happy...n u want to b a part of dat happiness...u want urself to b wanted...u need urself to b given just dat one thing u desire...to b remembered..
U r remembered wen needed...some remember u coz they need love...n they kno u can giv it to them...some remember u coz they need solace...n yeah..u can giv them dat as well...some remember u wen they cant remember anyone else...atleast fr that moment...n yeah...u r thr then as well...u r thr everytym u r remembered...in pursuit of wat u believe...is their happiness...n so is urs...or is it?? Its wen u luk bak at ur lyf...at people who have loved u...people who u cudnt love...people u let go...coz u believed u didn’t love them...dat u realise how wrong u cud hve been...how very wrong...coz its much easier to love someone..than be loved...its much easier to giv up everything fr someone than hve someone giv everything up fr u...u try everytym just to c that one smile on the face of that someone...so much so dat u forget to smile urself...its then dat u need someone to want u to smile...
u step out of the house...hurt...fr having come...hurt...for having wanted to b needed...hurt ...fr having wanted to b remembered...hurt...fr having wanted to b wanted...u luk at the watch...it aint tym...u r early...u remember wat she has said...coz it resounds wid so much clarity...wats even more clear...r the implications of it...dat u had had a choice..dat u had made one...dat it was ur choice to do whatever u had done fr her...dat it was ur choice to have loved her...n its consequences r fr u to bear...it aint she who is to b blamed...its u...coz it was ur choice after all...u luk at the watch again..the tym doesn’t seem to move...u luk at ur byk...standing in front of u...telling u everything wil b alrite...even wen she finds it hard to believe herself.. lyf comes a full circle they say...n u find urself rite at the point whr it all began..again...u luk at ur hands...n they r trembling...wid sweat at the side of ur neck...its a chilly nyt...n the sweat feels cold against the skin...cold enuf...
u luk around urself...at the cold dark nite ahead of u...the byk throttling along...u luk at ppl around u...n u find none...u luk at ur hands..n they r trembling...u luk at the months gone by n the months to come...u want to b alone...n wen u r...u want someone tellin u it wil b alrite...u shut the sounds of ur mind to hear the revs of ur byk...coz u kno she needs u...to take her home...n thr u r...rite whr u were...wid her again...
The flaw wid one being dependent is.. it makes u liv fr others...ppl u believe u love...yeah love!!! Its then that u can do anything fr them...nething dat u can...or u cannot...u do dat without any expectations...without any conditions...n u don’t impose any either, on the very ppl...but its wen u realise dat all dat u hve done fr them doesn’t count...not to them...or to u...its wen u realise u hve done all in ur power to c them wat they r..happy..dat u feel happy...n u want to b a part of dat happiness...u want urself to b wanted...u need urself to b given just dat one thing u desire...to b remembered..
U r remembered wen needed...some remember u coz they need love...n they kno u can giv it to them...some remember u coz they need solace...n yeah..u can giv them dat as well...some remember u wen they cant remember anyone else...atleast fr that moment...n yeah...u r thr then as well...u r thr everytym u r remembered...in pursuit of wat u believe...is their happiness...n so is urs...or is it?? Its wen u luk bak at ur lyf...at people who have loved u...people who u cudnt love...people u let go...coz u believed u didn’t love them...dat u realise how wrong u cud hve been...how very wrong...coz its much easier to love someone..than be loved...its much easier to giv up everything fr someone than hve someone giv everything up fr u...u try everytym just to c that one smile on the face of that someone...so much so dat u forget to smile urself...its then dat u need someone to want u to smile...
u step out of the house...hurt...fr having come...hurt...for having wanted to b needed...hurt ...fr having wanted to b remembered...hurt...fr having wanted to b wanted...u luk at the watch...it aint tym...u r early...u remember wat she has said...coz it resounds wid so much clarity...wats even more clear...r the implications of it...dat u had had a choice..dat u had made one...dat it was ur choice to do whatever u had done fr her...dat it was ur choice to have loved her...n its consequences r fr u to bear...it aint she who is to b blamed...its u...coz it was ur choice after all...u luk at the watch again..the tym doesn’t seem to move...u luk at ur byk...standing in front of u...telling u everything wil b alrite...even wen she finds it hard to believe herself.. lyf comes a full circle they say...n u find urself rite at the point whr it all began..again...u luk at ur hands...n they r trembling...wid sweat at the side of ur neck...its a chilly nyt...n the sweat feels cold against the skin...cold enuf...
u luk around urself...at the cold dark nite ahead of u...the byk throttling along...u luk at ppl around u...n u find none...u luk at ur hands..n they r trembling...u luk at the months gone by n the months to come...u want to b alone...n wen u r...u want someone tellin u it wil b alrite...u shut the sounds of ur mind to hear the revs of ur byk...coz u kno she needs u...to take her home...n thr u r...rite whr u were...wid her again...
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